April Fool
by ElleKoneko
Summary: Envy likes playing practical jokes... that must explain Edwards fear of milk.


Edward Elric doesn't like milk. He has this feeling about it that makes him sick to his stomach and this is why:

It was April fool's day. A day that Edward had never really participated in. It was a day for practical jokes that left someone feeling humiliated. Edward had never been humiliated. He always kept out of the way on April fool's day and so far that seemed to work pretty well for him.

Envy was the opposite of Edward. He loved playing practical jokes on unsuspecting victims. He loved the way they tried to hide that anything had ever happened to them even though everyone had already seen it happen.

There was this one time when Envy snuck into the room of the one and only Roy Mustang. He had exactly ten minutes until Roy returned to the room so he got to work. He dragged his toolbox of pranking into the room and got to work loosening the screws on The Flame Alchemists bed.

The ten minutes had passed and Roy made his way back to his room with date number 369. It was obvious she wanted him and he needed to get the night over with so he didn't have to speak to the clingy woman again. Roy was never one for commitment.

He began to loosen the tie that seemed to be choking him slowly. His date sat on the bed to watch him...

BANG!

Envy chuckled lowly from his spot under the window. He peeked through said window to watch the Alchemists face only to see him laughing from his standing place across the room.

"Screw you Roy!" squealed an annoying, high pitched female voice. Suddenly, the bedroom door slammed and Envy burst out laughing. It wasn't what he expected but it was hilarious nonetheless.

Back to the present April fool's day.

Envy was on a pranking roll again. He stood outside the Elric's door; a boiled egg in hand. He called Ed's phone and waited for him to answer.

Edward grabbed the carton of milk from the door of the fridge and poured himself a glass of the white substance. His phone began ringing and he left the room to answer it.

Envy got to work on this year's prank. He quickly shelled the boiled egg and dropped his phone on the floor outside the door. He opened the door as quietly as homunculusly possible and shut it behind him. He tiptoed over to the glass of milk that was waiting patiently on the table top.

He pushed the boiled egg to the bottom of the glass. He then looked all around the glass to make sure the egg wasn't noticeable before concluding that it was all good.

He tiptoed back towards the door and shut it behind him again.

Envy picked his phone back up and listened intently to a confused and frustrated Edward on the other end. He ended the call and watched through the letterbox for Edward returning to the glass of milk he had waited so very long to drink.

Envy chuckled to himself darkly as Ed began to drink the contents of the glass with his eyes closed.

Ed was enjoying the glass of milk considerably until he felt something rubbery touch his lips. He ignored it at first and passed it off as a figment of his imagination but it soon became apparent that the feeling was leaving anytime soon. He opened his eyes and held the glass away from his mouth to inspect it. As soon as he saw the egg sitting in his glass he spat the contents of his mouth out onto the floor at his feet.

Envy couldn't hold back his laugher anymore from that point. He fell to the floor in fits of cackles and didn't stop until his abdomen hurt considerable more than he would've liked.

Ed waited until the laughter had died down.

"Is that you, Envy?" He asked angrily.

"April Fool's, chibi" Envy replied through a new fit of giggles.

Edward responded by throwing the glass at the front door, with a lovely wish that Envy could feel it through the hard wood.

The culprit of Edwards's fear of milk got away. The boiled egg rolled across the floor lazily.

* * *

><p>I wrote this for April fools day which for me is tomorrow. This took me about an hour to write and i'm not proud of it but i'm proud i got it done before April fools day. I admit, i can imagine Envy being a bit of a highschool prankster and it amuses me greatly.<p> 


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